If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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