Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
