if you like me you must not know who I am
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
