you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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