We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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