Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
