She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
