Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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