how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
