If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
