you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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