y did u give ur computer a hand job?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
