Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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