There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
