I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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