We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Panties = found
Randomize