Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
