ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
