I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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