Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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