I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize