can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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