its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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