Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize