dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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