the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
