playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
