Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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