Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
