Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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