i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
