Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
