The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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