hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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