I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize