He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
