We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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