i think i have two assholes
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
