He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
