problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
