Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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