I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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