Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
