Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
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Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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