11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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