direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
God, I missed his penis.
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