I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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