No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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