Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
