just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
kristin has been a bad kristin
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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