I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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