Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
