WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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