hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
