I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
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