I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
