Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
