how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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