i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
