Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
