I love black thongs
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
