Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
