when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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