i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
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My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
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I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Success! We fucked roommates!
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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